I was sharing this story with a class I was teaching recently.
Now, I would like to share it with you.
Her name is Angel.
She is my baby.
The day that I found out I was pregnant, I began dreaming of Angel. I rushed from the bathroom with pregnancy test in hand. Pointing to the double stripes on the stick, I said to Firehubby, “Oh my gosh, it’s positive! Our babies are going to be 14 months apart!" My mind was racing. Our lives had changed, in those two short minutes. "We’re gonna need a new car, there is no way they both are going to fit in the back seat!” I exclaimed.
Later that night, I settled onto the sofa with 5 month old Scout, nestled against my chest. I envisioned myself rocking my two babies together, one in each arm.
Angel was very real to me, from that moment in time. She was my child.
She was my dream and my hope for the future.
That wondrous day, she was a tiny c-shaped life; 1/8th inch long.
Over the next weeks, I was continuously aware of her presence. She was very real to me, as nausea ruled my world.
Now, I would like to share it with you.
Her name is Angel.
She is my baby.
The day that I found out I was pregnant, I began dreaming of Angel. I rushed from the bathroom with pregnancy test in hand. Pointing to the double stripes on the stick, I said to Firehubby, “Oh my gosh, it’s positive! Our babies are going to be 14 months apart!" My mind was racing. Our lives had changed, in those two short minutes. "We’re gonna need a new car, there is no way they both are going to fit in the back seat!” I exclaimed.
Later that night, I settled onto the sofa with 5 month old Scout, nestled against my chest. I envisioned myself rocking my two babies together, one in each arm.
Angel was very real to me, from that moment in time. She was my child.
She was my dream and my hope for the future.
That wondrous day, she was a tiny c-shaped life; 1/8th inch long.
Over the next weeks, I was continuously aware of her presence. She was very real to me, as nausea ruled my world.
Here is a picture of what Angel would have looked like at 8 weeks.
An ultrasound image of a baby at this gestational age does not really allow you to see any detail, like the arms and legs.This picture was really helpful to me, because I could see that in her last days as an embryo, Angel was taking on a more recognizable form. She was not quite an inch long at this age, but was growing quickly!
Although I did not find out for another two weeks, Angel’s life had ended, shortly after 8 weeks.
My dreams were shattered.
My heart was broken.
My baby was not coming home to be rocked with her brother.
My grief had begun.
It has been 11 years now, and the intensity of my pain has diminished. God had a new plan for our lives. Within a few months, I was pregnant again. Scout and Princess were born 18 months apart.
The Princess is my joy and I am grateful for her beyond words...
But, I will never forget my baby…my precious Angel.
My grief had begun.
It has been 11 years now, and the intensity of my pain has diminished. God had a new plan for our lives. Within a few months, I was pregnant again. Scout and Princess were born 18 months apart.
The Princess is my joy and I am grateful for her beyond words...
But, I will never forget my baby…my precious Angel.
